Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man :This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng:If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM...
Full Version: U rated jokes
good clean fun. 
I miss Samy Vellu speach when he was the Minister of Public Works..I always looking forward for any speach he made in TV..
This one is good if you remember "Kita punya POS Laju Malaysia paling bagus di dunia, esok hantar, arini sampai"
( I think kalah DHL)
This one is good if you remember "Kita punya POS Laju Malaysia paling bagus di dunia, esok hantar, arini sampai"
( I think kalah DHL)
he did comment on the corrupted youth...
'ramai remaja sekarang suka hisap DADA...'
which he meant dadah...
'ramai remaja sekarang suka hisap DADA...'
which he meant dadah...
QUOTE
Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they're walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole. I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?" The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says "There's this old transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see". So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole with no hesitation, and jump in headfirst.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there", says the farmer, "You fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?" The first hunter says "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!" And the old farmer said... "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"
The first hunter says "There's this old transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see". So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole with no hesitation, and jump in headfirst.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there", says the farmer, "You fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?" The first hunter says "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!" And the old farmer said... "Why that's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"
goat killa
80 yr old lady gets married for the 4th time
An 80-year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station
because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time. The
interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt
like to
be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought.
He then asked her, 'Would you mind telling me a little about your
first
three husbands and what they did for a living?'
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those
years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered
proudly, 'I first married a banker when I was in my early 20's, then a
circus ringmaster when in my 40's, later on a preacher when in my
60's,
and now, in my 80's, a funeral director.'
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked, 'Why did
you
marry four men with such diverse careers?'
She smiled and explained
'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready,
and four to go!'
An 80-year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station
because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time. The
interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt
like to
be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought.
He then asked her, 'Would you mind telling me a little about your
first
three husbands and what they did for a living?'
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those
years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered
proudly, 'I first married a banker when I was in my early 20's, then a
circus ringmaster when in my 40's, later on a preacher when in my
60's,
and now, in my 80's, a funeral director.'
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked, 'Why did
you
marry four men with such diverse careers?'
She smiled and explained
'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready,
and four to go!'
DEAd Dog
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane
when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
"His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the agent said, "Watch this."
He told Sniffer to "search". Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle,
and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the
agent's arm. The agent said, "Good boy", and he turned to the man and said,
"That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number
and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
"Say, that's pretty neat," replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat,
and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said,
"That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."
"I like it!" said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to "search" again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment,
and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really grossed out by this behavior
and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, s
o he asked the agent "What's going on?"
The agent nervously replied, "He just found a bomb."
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane
when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
"His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."
The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the agent said, "Watch this."
He told Sniffer to "search". Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle,
and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the
agent's arm. The agent said, "Good boy", and he turned to the man and said,
"That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number
and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
"Say, that's pretty neat," replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat,
and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said,
"That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police."
"I like it!" said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to "search" again.
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment,
and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really grossed out by this behavior
and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, s
o he asked the agent "What's going on?"
The agent nervously replied, "He just found a bomb."
I had dinner last night at Podyas St at a pakistani restaurant and I ordered " Can I have Lamb Briyyani?"...The waiter ans "We dont have lamb, we have Goat" with his 'head movement'..I looked at my friend at couldnt resist to laugh..
QUOTE
Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter." Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. You've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode." "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never!" replies Dave. "Well just relax and let it happen"
So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... "Dave, wake up you drunken bastard! You've shit the bed!".
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white Robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter." Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. You've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode." "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never!" replies Dave. "Well just relax and let it happen"
So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... "Dave, wake up you drunken bastard! You've shit the bed!".
QUOTE
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."
Making a baby. This is hilarious & CLEAN
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased
with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked M rs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And
for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
Arial" color=purple size=5> Arial'">"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted !
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased
with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked M rs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And
for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
Arial" color=purple size=5> Arial'">"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted !
Suami bin Lelaki
17, Jalan Angkasa,
24300, Kemaman
Terengganu.
Isteri binti Perempuan
17, Jalan Angkasa,
24300, Kemaman
Terengganu.
31 April 2006
Puan,
PERKARA : PERMOHONAN UNTUK BERPOLIGAMI
Perkara di atas adalah di rujuk.
2. Sebab utama permohonan ini di lakukan adalah kerana saya ingin
melengkapkan kuota yang telah di peruntukkan bagi saya. Buat masa ini
kuota yang telah di isi cuma satu, memandangkan masih ada 3 kekosongan,
eloklah jika dapat di penuhi secepat mungkin. Pihak yang akan mengisi
satu kekosongan ini buat masa ini ialah Cik Hana Fazura binti Ramli yang
merupakan setiausaha saya di pejabat. Memandangkan komitmen yang beliau
tunjukkan di pejabat amat baik, eloklah jika kita masukkan dia bersama
kita di dalam organisasi keluarga kita. Kekosongan yang selebihnya akan
di isi di masa akan datang.
3. Untuk makluman pihak puan, yang sebenarnya masalah ini telah lama
saya fikirkan tetapi memandangkan poket saya yang selalu nipis,
terpaksalah saya tangguhkan dulu permohonan ini di samping kurangnye
rasa keyakinan untuk mengemukakan permohonan ini. Kini, setelah saya
dapat mengeluarkan kesemua duit pelaburan ASB saya, saya merasakan
kembalinya semangat saya yang telah hilang selama ini.
4. Permohonan ini amat setimpal kerana dengan kedudukan sekarang ia
menguntungkan kedua belah pihak dan juga pihak ketiga. Selama ini hidup
kita bahagia sebab jika tidak, manakan mungkin puan dapat menjadi
seperti sekarang. Semua yang puan miliki sudah bertambah besar. Kereta
besar, rumah besar, rantai besar dan pakaian besar. Jika dulu potongan
puan seperti gitar, kini sudah bertukar menjadi drum. Oleh itu, sudilah
kiranya dapat kita kongsi bersama insan lain kebahagiaan kita ini.
5. Pihak puan juga dapat menikmati faedah dari kelulusan permohonan ini
kerana puan akan tetap menikmati apa yang telah puan miliki sekarang
dengan waktu bekerja lebih singkat dan sistem syif akan di perkenalkan
iaitu 1 hari kerja dan 1 hari cuti rehat. Waktu bekerja yang selebihnya
akan ditampung oleh pihak ketiga. Kebaikan yang puan akan nikmati ialah
waktu rehat yang bebas kerana dalam waktu puan bercuti, saya selaku
Penyelia tidak akan memantau aktiviti yang puan lakukan. Pada waktu itu
saya cuma akan fokus kepada hasil kerja pihak ketiga. Menguntungkan
bukan?
6. Segala kerjasama dari pihak puan saya dahulukan dengan ribuan terima
kasih. Saya amat berharap pihak puan dapat meluluskan permohonan saya
ini kerana adalah lebih baik jika kita dapat berkongsi kebahagiaan kita
ini bersama insan lain. Saya harap permohonan saya ini di balas dengan
senyuman penuh keikhlasan dari pihak puan dan tandatangan puan di atas
kertas yang saya lampirkan bukannya balingan periuk nasi,
pinggan-mangkuk, ketukan senduk dan perkara-perkara yang menyukarkan
pihak puan untuk melakukannya.
7. Saya harap puan sudi meluluskan permohonan ini. Hadirkanlah
senyumanmu sebagaimana ketika kita menyambut orang baru iaitu bayi kita
kedalam keluarga kita 10 tahun lepas. Situasinya lebih kurang sama
dengan masa kini. Kita akan menerima orang baru juga cuma bezanya ialah
jika 10 tahun yang lepas kita perlu menjaga dan membelainya dengan manja
bersama tetapi kali ini, setiap urusan penjagaan dan belaian manja akan
di laksanakan oleh saya sepenuhnya.
8. Akhir kata, saya harap permohonan saya ini dapat dibalas secepat
mungkin. Semoga kita bersama-bersama dengan pihak ketiga akan dapat
melaksanakan program ini dengan jayanya.
Sekian, Terima Kasih.
"BERKORBAN DAN BERKONGSI KEBAHAGIAAN LAMBANG RUMAHTANGGA BAHAGIA"
Yang Ikhlas Memohon,
Suami bin Lelaki
17, Jalan Angkasa,
24300, Kemaman
Terengganu.
Isteri binti Perempuan
17, Jalan Angkasa,
24300, Kemaman
Terengganu.
31 April 2006
Puan,
PERKARA : PERMOHONAN UNTUK BERPOLIGAMI
Perkara di atas adalah di rujuk.
2. Sebab utama permohonan ini di lakukan adalah kerana saya ingin
melengkapkan kuota yang telah di peruntukkan bagi saya. Buat masa ini
kuota yang telah di isi cuma satu, memandangkan masih ada 3 kekosongan,
eloklah jika dapat di penuhi secepat mungkin. Pihak yang akan mengisi
satu kekosongan ini buat masa ini ialah Cik Hana Fazura binti Ramli yang
merupakan setiausaha saya di pejabat. Memandangkan komitmen yang beliau
tunjukkan di pejabat amat baik, eloklah jika kita masukkan dia bersama
kita di dalam organisasi keluarga kita. Kekosongan yang selebihnya akan
di isi di masa akan datang.
3. Untuk makluman pihak puan, yang sebenarnya masalah ini telah lama
saya fikirkan tetapi memandangkan poket saya yang selalu nipis,
terpaksalah saya tangguhkan dulu permohonan ini di samping kurangnye
rasa keyakinan untuk mengemukakan permohonan ini. Kini, setelah saya
dapat mengeluarkan kesemua duit pelaburan ASB saya, saya merasakan
kembalinya semangat saya yang telah hilang selama ini.
4. Permohonan ini amat setimpal kerana dengan kedudukan sekarang ia
menguntungkan kedua belah pihak dan juga pihak ketiga. Selama ini hidup
kita bahagia sebab jika tidak, manakan mungkin puan dapat menjadi
seperti sekarang. Semua yang puan miliki sudah bertambah besar. Kereta
besar, rumah besar, rantai besar dan pakaian besar. Jika dulu potongan
puan seperti gitar, kini sudah bertukar menjadi drum. Oleh itu, sudilah
kiranya dapat kita kongsi bersama insan lain kebahagiaan kita ini.
5. Pihak puan juga dapat menikmati faedah dari kelulusan permohonan ini
kerana puan akan tetap menikmati apa yang telah puan miliki sekarang
dengan waktu bekerja lebih singkat dan sistem syif akan di perkenalkan
iaitu 1 hari kerja dan 1 hari cuti rehat. Waktu bekerja yang selebihnya
akan ditampung oleh pihak ketiga. Kebaikan yang puan akan nikmati ialah
waktu rehat yang bebas kerana dalam waktu puan bercuti, saya selaku
Penyelia tidak akan memantau aktiviti yang puan lakukan. Pada waktu itu
saya cuma akan fokus kepada hasil kerja pihak ketiga. Menguntungkan
bukan?
6. Segala kerjasama dari pihak puan saya dahulukan dengan ribuan terima
kasih. Saya amat berharap pihak puan dapat meluluskan permohonan saya
ini kerana adalah lebih baik jika kita dapat berkongsi kebahagiaan kita
ini bersama insan lain. Saya harap permohonan saya ini di balas dengan
senyuman penuh keikhlasan dari pihak puan dan tandatangan puan di atas
kertas yang saya lampirkan bukannya balingan periuk nasi,
pinggan-mangkuk, ketukan senduk dan perkara-perkara yang menyukarkan
pihak puan untuk melakukannya.
7. Saya harap puan sudi meluluskan permohonan ini. Hadirkanlah
senyumanmu sebagaimana ketika kita menyambut orang baru iaitu bayi kita
kedalam keluarga kita 10 tahun lepas. Situasinya lebih kurang sama
dengan masa kini. Kita akan menerima orang baru juga cuma bezanya ialah
jika 10 tahun yang lepas kita perlu menjaga dan membelainya dengan manja
bersama tetapi kali ini, setiap urusan penjagaan dan belaian manja akan
di laksanakan oleh saya sepenuhnya.
8. Akhir kata, saya harap permohonan saya ini dapat dibalas secepat
mungkin. Semoga kita bersama-bersama dengan pihak ketiga akan dapat
melaksanakan program ini dengan jayanya.
Sekian, Terima Kasih.
"BERKORBAN DAN BERKONGSI KEBAHAGIAAN LAMBANG RUMAHTANGGA BAHAGIA"
Yang Ikhlas Memohon,
Suami bin Lelaki
WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) >From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below.
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed?
Me, too.
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) >From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below.
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed?
Me, too.
Dun geddit la fei chai... those answers r jokes or serious ones?
real answer lor... it just to test ur knowledge :)
Nice puzzle - try to crack it .....
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good lo! oking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.
Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the b! us. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.
! Still you couldn't, Then see below.........
think hard
common yaar.............
tired....
wanna know the answer????
ok........ there is the Answer............
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor,
therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he
was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died
!!!!!!!!
Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter
on Electricity ???
OK, OK....Relax.....No violence please...!!!!!!
I Know Physics is really tough
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good lo! oking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.
Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the b! us. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??
Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.
! Still you couldn't, Then see below.........
think hard
common yaar.............
tired....
wanna know the answer????
ok........ there is the Answer............
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor,
therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he
was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died
!!!!!!!!
Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter
on Electricity ???
OK, OK....Relax.....No violence please...!!!!!!
I Know Physics is really tough
A rich farmer has, among other possession a docile donkey. Whenever he has a quarrel with his hot tempered wife, he will take the donkey for a walk. One day, after an argument with the wife,he took the donkey to the field and sat down under a tree to read, the donkey was tied to the tree. The wife came to continue the quarrel. Her voice so startled the donkey which then gave a kick, killing the wife.
After her funeral the husband thanked all who came to express their sympathy. To the women he bowed. To the men he shook his head. The priest was puzzled by the gesture and enquired from the farmer the difference behaviour. The farmer told the priest : the women told me to be strong and carry on. The men asked whether the donkey was for sale.
After her funeral the husband thanked all who came to express their sympathy. To the women he bowed. To the men he shook his head. The priest was puzzled by the gesture and enquired from the farmer the difference behaviour. The farmer told the priest : the women told me to be strong and carry on. The men asked whether the donkey was for sale.
A real estate agent/negotiator recently closed a RM30 Million deal. But due to the importance and complexity of the deal, he and his boss had forgotten to get the vendor to commit the commission payable in black-and-white. In the end, the agent/negotiator got nothing. If the commision had been 2%, the commisiion would've been RM600K; if it had been 1%, it would've been RM300K.
Joke or stupidity or simply a sad story?
Joke or stupidity or simply a sad story?
QUOTE(Reverend @ Sep 4 2009, 06:32 PM) 
A real estate agent/negotiator recently closed a RM30 Million deal. But due to the importance and complexity of the deal, he and his boss had forgotten to get the vendor to commit the commission payable in black-and-white. In the end, the agent/negotiator got nothing. If the commision had been 2%, the commisiion would've been RM600K; if it had been 1%, it would've been RM300K.
Joke or stupidity or simply a sad story?
Joke or stupidity or simply a sad story?
Good one REv.....
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